A self-imposed warfare
Although we are living in a relatively peaceful times, we are perennially at war. To be more precise, you are at war. And that’s why you’re…
Although we are living in a relatively peaceful times, we are perennially at war. To be more precise, you are at war. And that’s why you’re not at peace. You are always anxious. You are always worried. Not to forget, incredibly insecure about how you look or feel or speak or where you’re going to be in terms of your so-called career and your non-existent life. You’ve been portraying so many roles for so long now in your comparatively short lifetime that you’ve not only lost the plot but are also incredibly tired. You don’t see the point in this charade but you prefer to move on with the waves of society. You call yourself individualistic but you follow the trends real close. You may not give a damn about things you don’t give a damn about and yet, you make it a point to let others know that you don’t give a damn. It’s futile and deep down inside, you know it too.
Still, you carry on.
“That’s the spirit!” they say.
Liars.
The pressure of being is slowly getting to you; creeping on you with every passing year, whispering the recipes of failures and disappointments and regrets and spiritual immiseration. It’s like being set up for something you aren’t meant to win. Nobody came out alive. Nobody will come out victorious either. Small-time realizations coupled with big-time enlightenment won’t be entertained. Sorry. Maybe that’s why you haven’t noticed a rainbow in ages. Maybe that’s why you can see that there’s nothing wrong with the mirror. It was you. All throughout.
It was you, again.
Going back to the war mentioned earlier, they are in plural. Sorry, again. Wars. You are at wars. One with the outside world and one with yourself. The external factors are ruthless, no doubt, but they are nowhere as debilitating as the ones waged beneath your skin. The former can be escaped from if you’re willing to embrace its cowardice but the latter is inescapable. It’s stuck inside at such a level that there’s no way out. All the short-term reactions and the short-term results are owed to this preoccupied arrangement. It’s not your fault and for a good measure, it is. Why so? Because, in this brutal case, time is on the X as well as the Y axis. It’s all about time. Because temporal wars go on for an extended period due to lack of negotiation whereas personal wars don’t constitute the dose of negotiation. Who are you going to negotiate with? Yourself? In exchange for what? Peace? If not, a little bit of ease? Until when?
Two words for you: Not happening.