An Oscar-winning anecdote
When in certainty, forgive. When in doubt, forgive loudly. But why forgiveness? Can’t we go on without grabbing a higher ground and simply…
When in certainty, forgive. When in doubt, forgive loudly. But why forgiveness? Can’t we go on without grabbing a higher ground and simply letting it go? If no, why is catharsis so damn important to our mental health? I don’t know the answers to these questions but my best guess has something to do with who we are. We can never forgive others if we don’t know how to forgive ourselves, so, it’s quite important that we learn to see the broader picture. Everything starts with us — quite literally. For instance, some people despise their parents and as the years pass by, those unchecked feelings crystallize into a tumour of bad memories (who try their best to scare away the nicer ones). The only breakthrough here is the possibility of forgiveness. And for that to work, you ought to forgive yourself first for being a weaker version of the person you could have been. Only then would you be able to forgive your parents for their shortcomings. If not, you’d continue to lead a life where you’re trying pyrrhically to escape your parents but no matter what you do, they’d still be staring right back at you in the mirror. Your face becomes the greatest reminder of who they were.
In this era, it’s difficult to talk about life whereas it’s stupid to talk about death. Discussing life makes you a third-grade philosopher while death makes you a suicidal psychopath. Facebook has turned into a calendar to wish “happy budday to you” but there are no platforms to enable “how do you plan to die?” Too soon could be the common refrain. But is it? How long before we strike a balance between topics that are considered popular and those considered too sad? Or have we given up already? I, for one, ask the darndest questions because I don’t care much about nurturing an acquaintance. For me, holding a conversation is relatively essential if I am going to spend time talking. Why waste time on pretentious chats? Let’s know each other deeper by posing tougher questions. For instance, what is the last thought that passes through the mind of a person getting hit by a bus or a train or an airplane — against his wish?
Since we are dwelling on the subject of finality today, my friend Vivek has an interesting take. Although he is a brilliant graphic designer who dabbles in writing lousy jokes, his plans are clear as far as his swansong is concerned. He wants to write the funniest joke of all time and then die laughing at it.
Faith comes in all shapes and sizes. This is true despite the fact that people, especially those from the established religions, love to police how others pray and lead their personal lives. The common denominator here is the presence of god or gods, if you may. One may agree or disagree with the versions but the concept of god remains constant. Some bow, some hail, some exalt… the list goes on and on about different methods adopted by different sects to gain approval of their respective idea of god/gods. My favourite style is the one where you bribe the god by promising to pay if my wish is fulfilled. Height of swag. Pulling gods down to human level and dealing with them with utmost sincerity: Get my job done and you’ll get paid; if not, I’ll go find another god. Thank you very much.
This week, some idiots from Liverpool pushed an old man in to a fountain. A pathetic display of revelry and that too in a foreign city — Barcelona, in this case — which brings nothing but vile reputation to the football club. While watching this video, it occurred to me the basic difference between a fan and a devotee. The aforementioned idiots are Liverpool fans (like me) but they assume themselves to be Liverpool devotees. And that’s where the line blurs. A fan can be anything without qualification or expectations. I am a Messi fan, which means I don’t have to bend time or space like he does in tight situations. I can enjoy his genius from a distance because I am just another fan. However, if I were a Messi devotee, I’d have to internalize his qualities. Because that’s how devotion works. I can’t call myself a devotee of Jesus or Rama without adopting at least some of their epic characteristics. Just calling myself their devotees without learning anything from them is like pushing an old man in to a fountain and thinking that I am doing great.
Ever held an Oscar in your hand? I have. It was quite heavy. Jon Landau, the producer of the two most successful movies in history — Titanic (1997) and Avatar (2009) — handed it to me. The very Oscar that he received when Titanic won the Best Picture Award. I clearly remember the afternoon this happened. It was in the lounge of a fancy seaside hotel in Mumbai. And while holding that golden statue, I was thinking to myself: “Will I ever be able to write something good enough to earn an Oscar someday? Or is this the closest I’ll ever get to this baldie?”
The answers to these questions can be gauged from the quality of this blog post.
Once while traveling to office in an Uber, a housefly sneaked in to the cab. It stayed inside throughout the journey although it could have escaped via the windows if it liked. Due to motion sickness, I keep them down anyway. Nevertheless, the little fellow got out of the car only after I did. Now, imagine having a life that lasts barely a month and moving 9 km away to go make new friends from scratch.
Everybody wants to be happy but everybody is miserable about one thing or the other. Most often than not, the source of our misery is often we ourselves. But it gets too late before such a relieving realization dawns upon us. After a long of meandering thoughts, I’ve arrived at this conclusion: life is a see-saw of dukkha (grief) and sukkha (joy) and it’s only a matter of how we look at it. For a lot of us, particularly the nostalgic types, the past was full of sukkha thanks to our photoshopped understanding of childhood and the future would be full of uncertainty. For the non-nostalgic kinds, the past was full of dukkha while the present is an opportunity to overcome obstacles in such a manner that the future entails nothing but sukkha. You can call the latter category of people practical but in reality, both are the same dealing with different situations with their unique approach. After all, we must try to be happy regardless of the problems we are facing. And yet, we forget such an inalienable piece of truth. We shouldn’t feel hopeless and yet we do most of the time. Harambe didn’t die for this.