Ganga can't wash away your sins
None of us seem to realize it but we mostly exist in each other’s minds. In practice, if I remember you and you remember me, then we both exist. Now, the moot point is, if one of us stops reminiscing, then the other person stops existing? This is something I struggle with often. My problem is, I live in the past. I am an AADHAAR-card-carrying member of a country called Nostalgia. Turns out time indeed changes everything. The other day, I was thinking about my ajji (grandma in Tulu) and I’ve come to realize that a lot of my core memories with/of her have turned extremely vague now. She passed away in 1998 when I was 12. So, now it seems like she is almost like a character from a story I heard from somebody else. Funny how time turns into a wall against you.
A couple of weeks ago, somebody asked me whether I miss our old dog Ranga. I said, yes. The next question was, how do you deal with the loss of a dear pet? Goes without highlighting that different people process grief differently. But in many cases, actually, with time, it becomes easy. But every once in a while, when you wake up in the middle of the night with bleary eyes to pee or something, you tread carefully because you don't want to step on your dog who slept by the bed. And then your foggy mind remembers that he passed away a year ago. This keeps happening again and again—not just at night, even during daytime. There will be several instances that would remind you of him. For example, you always gave him the soft chicken bones from your plate or the pizza crust or that annoying edge of a samosa, etc. You will also spot him in the streets because of the (similar) fur coat. That's simply how it is. Nothing bad or sad. Just incomplete.
Not that anybody cares but I used to be a prolific content creator. Not very along ago, I used to post unique content on Twitter, Instagram, LinkedIn, Substack and YouTube. As of now, I cross-pollinate my words from one platform to another. I don’t have the patience to entertain everyone all the time. Fuck online validation. Hence I’ve learned to take it slow. I write only when I feel like writing. Which also explains why my last blogpost happened about 2 weeks ago. But for what it’s worth, I am still paragraphing here. Can’t say the same about my poor rantful YouTube channel which is completely inactive as of now. In fact, my last video was a tribute to Ranga more than a year ago and I quietly retired. No ragrets (sic).
It’s best to not let social media dictate your perception. It’s ok to have (different) perspectives but don’t let the internet turn into glasses for looking at the world. What you read/consume is a miniature version of reality and the algorithm ensures that your cognitive bias remains fed like a monster hiding in a cave. If you like looking at gloom, the algorithm will continue to show you gloom. So, avoid doomscrolling for the sake of your mental health. I’ve seen more than enough people let the gloom of their phone screen ruin the sunshine of their existence. There are always bad things happening in the world. That’s just how this world has been since time immemorial. Horrible things keep happening and nobody (including you) can’t do anything about it. Try to focus your energy on hopeful/aspirational stuff. There are more than enough examples of individuals who end up cleaning lakes, turning arid regions into green zones, spreading awareness around healthier lifestyles, etc. Most probably, you aren't aware of most of these people. If you are going to seek decay, you will only find decay.
What USA does to Mexico on its border, Mexico does to its smaller neigbouring countries on theirs. But nobody talks about it because racism has to subscribe to a certain skin tone. This particular ‘phenomenon’ played out differently when 1500+ Indians were recently deported by the American authorities. What I found interesting is the amount ‘invested’ into this illegal activity: in the range of ₹40L to ₹55L. That’s a lot of money for a country where only 2.5% of the population pays income tax. One way to look at this ‘investment’ is those individuals were expecting to reap massive benefits after ‘settling’ in the United States. In other words, they were hoping to taste the American Dream. However, going by what happened to them, they already lived the American Dream.
So much has devolved in the so-called modern but trust remains the same: priceless. Without it, society crumbles faster than crypto market. When you visit bazaar/mandi (marketplace), you notice that the amount of trust is what runs the place. There is an unsaid understanding about space and time. And it has nothing to do with credit. It’s solely built on a belief that the vendor will get what he deserves at the end of the day, and the buyer will make the same. Of course, there is always a scope for bargain. I was at the Uran market last month and I was trying to pay the banana seller online but my stupid old phone was being cranky. I told him I don’t have cash either. He told me to keep the bananas and pay once I get network. I jokingly said I may not pay later. Someone well-versed with the notion of trust, he said, “Mere 60 rupees se kya hi mahal bana loge? Aur agar bana bhi lo, toh kaunse sukoon se reh paoge?” [You won’t be able to build a palace with my 60 bucks and even if you do, you won’t live at peace in there.]
Love, at its purest form, is commonly found in poetry. But if you are lucky, you will get a whiff of it. And if you are very very lucky, it shall stay with you. The trouble with such sentiments is you get greedy against your wish: you eventually want more and more of it and you start holding on it harder. In moments like these, it might serve your sanity better by remembering that even the most beautiful of sunsets don’t stay forever. The sky changes its mood and fades away, hoping to return some evening when you least expect it. Like someone that you never met but always held in your chest.
“From rains to trains,
From plains to airplanes,
I am your companion.”
– Muna
Some things are never going to change. Accept it and move the eff on. You can only work on yourself and try to make the most of your talents and resources. Luck plays its part only once you’ve done your homework. There will be days when you’d be at the top of your game. There will be days when you are struggling against the high tide. Either way, the moon will keep changing its shy face above your silly head. People will walk into your life and people will run out of your life. Some will praise you whereas others will mock you. You will learn your share of lessons and life won’t give up until you’ve learned all of them. Yet, there are going to be moments when you just don’t get it. Things will be crystal clear and still, you would refuse to see the truth. No amount of advice and counsel is going to help. This is your story. Expecting others to change for you is a tragedy. That’s like watching Titanic (1997) 18 times and hoping that the ship doesn’t sink on the 19th time.
Despite all the tribal divisions, sports can be a great unifier. Many a times, it even transcends politics and deep affiliations. However, the bonhomie spirit is a uniquely subcontinental event, methink. Don’t expect to see athletes or the crowd from USA and USSR warm up to each other during the Cold War. Similarly, no point hoping the Western countries (and media) hide their hypocrisy while banning athletes from Russia either. In such a world, isn’t it amazing that we witnessed some Pakistani fans applauding Virat Kohli for completing his century? Mind you, their loyalty to Pakistan remains—as it should—but that doesn’t let them ignore the once-in-a-generation talent like Kohli either. Can’t get desi-r than this.
Like it or not, you will ultimately reach an age where it will suddenly dawn upon you that very few people genuinely respect you. Yes, they might like and, perhaps, even love you too, but that garnish of respect is sorely missing. It’s a strange mix; it’s a strange miss. All those whom you considered your closest, they would appear like they take you for granted. Even those in your professional circle would make you feel like you are insufficient. A very weird phase, it will be. But like all phases, this too shall pass.
I was in 7th standard when I learned that the most powerful currency in the world was Kuwaiti dinar. Even today, it’s at the pole position (1 dinar equals 283 Indian rupees). That said, if you ask me, the greatest currency of all can’t be quantifiable. It is invisible too and can’t be printed although its impact stays imprinted on your consciousness. Yes, I am talking about kindness. All species are equipped with it but being the apex predator, human kindness goes a long way in making the world a (slightly) better place. If you can’t be anything else in life, you can still choose to be kind. Isn’t that awesome? And the day humankind realize this, the glaciers would stop melting.
For the longest while, I’ve been singing paeans about sacred places like Varanasi//Kashi but I couldn’t attend the Mahakhumb Mela. Close to 400 crore devotees are expected to take a dip in the holy river but to be frank, it’s not my turn. Yet. Maybe next year. Who knows? River Ganga has been flowing since time immemorial and she will continue to do so long after we are gone. She is supposed to give us a second chance at life: every dip you take in her, you emerge as a person who can be a better version of themselves. But this philosophy is rooted in the future, not past. And that’s something people don’t understand. You’ve got to pay for the (mis)deeds you’ve already committed. She can’t wash away your sins but once you emerge from her, your resolve to avoid your upcoming sins can certainly get stronger.
Next week, there will be a huge marketing gimmick in the hollow but gorgeous town of Hollywood. Yes, Oscars, ladies and gentlemen. That parade where men resemble penguins and women walk uncomfortably up the stairs. Apparently the most feted event for folks associated with cinema. But if history is any indicator of justice, Oscars have never been about merit. It has always been a circus of lobbyists. Whoever lobbies harder must get to shine on the stage with that bald golden statue. Most decisions by the Academy are shambolic, to say the least. But then, we must also concede the role of the media in hyping an award ceremony that Ricky Gervais won’t ever be invited to host. In the end, money matters. Investments and returns. Profits and losses. It’s been a quarter of a century but not a day goes by I don't wonder how India could have been a superpower today had Lagaan (2001) won the Oscar that fateful morning.
Never stop writing Shakti.
The finest thing I read today. Thankyou for sharing your talent with the world.