Hello, Proust
You must be aware of Proust and his celebrated manuscript from the 19th century. If you aren’t, it’s not a big deal. He left a series of questions, which when answered honestly, are supposed to say something vital about the interviewee. I believe in science and psychology interests me a lot. Yet, I don’t know how a questionnaire is supposed to help you or, for that matter, even a stranger get a better picture of who a person really is and what exactly is he hiding otherwise. Aren’t we continuously changing at any given point of time?
However, being a good sport who wants nothing but massive advancement for science and knowledge, I am going to undergo this process. Also, because I am perfectly out of topic to write even though that sounds incredible given how the world is going crazy—well, when did it not? — and there is content floating like turds in Udvada.
OK.
Let’s get started with brutal truth, shall we?
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Living in the hills with bare minimum which must include WiFi because it’s a fundamental right; reading all the books i’ve hoarded over the years; writing everything I have inside my head but haven’t spilled yet; going on long walks in to the woods while identifying birds by their calls; watching sunrise, sunset and pitch black night sky; and sleeping tight for a change. Yea, yea, too much to ask for.
What is your greatest fear?
I’d have easily said lizards but due to absolute deference to Proust, let me say, losing my memory or mind—whichever happens first. My eyesight and hearing capabilities are both poor so i’ve already realized the difference lack of sharpness can make.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
10 years ago, I was foolish enough to think i’m like Rimbaud. Not anymore. I’ve effectively lost the free-spirited poetic streak in me. As of now, I identify so much with nobody from human history.
Which living person do you most admire?
Apart from my mother, I admire people who dedicated themselves to something much bigger than them: Jane Goodall quickly springs to mind.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Wastefulness of resources; be however the hell you want but be considerate enough for what we have today is quite limited.
What is your favorite journey?
Going to bed from washroom after brushing teeth.
What is your chief characteristic?
Laziness punctuated by indecisiveness.
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Silence.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“Seriously?” in English, “Chup be” in Hindi and “Saav” in Tulu.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My freedom.
When and where were you happiest?
Right after dropping out of college, I taught English to secondary school kids for four years in the very slums I grew up in. The most worthwhile thing I did with my time.
Which talent would you most like to have?
Singing, no doubt. I know all the lyrics. It’s the equivalent of having a car but no petrol or diesel or Elon Musk.
What’s your favourite colour and flower?
I thought I liked sky blue but of late, I’ve realized I don’t have a favourite colour anymore. My favourite flower has to be the humble periwinkle.
What quality do you like the most in men?
Their ability to respect women.
What quality do you like the most in women?
Their ability to respect themselves.
What is your greatest fault?
My sheer contempt for myself.
What is your current state of mind?
Wondering “Why the hell did I decide to answer these lameass queries?” but calm otherwise.
On what occasion do you lie?
Depends on the person I am dealing with.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Being alive without having to kill anybody.
What is your most treasured possession?
This wallet (very tattered now) my dad gifted me about a decade ago when I got my first job.
Where would you like to live?
Either in the hills of Himachal/Uttarakhand or some town where there is lower noise and light pollution; perfectly alright with air and water pollution though.
What is your favorite occupation?
Unpaid blogging/tweeting/facebooking/instagramming.
Who is your favourite poet?
Between Ghalib and Plath.
What do you most value in your friends?
Companionship and occasional honesty.
What is your greatest extravagance?
All the Internet-enabled amenities that make life easier than it should be.
If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be?
Stephen Hawking’s denture.
If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
Get rid of our species.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My cynicism.
If you could change one thing about your family, what would it be?
Add a little sister.
Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Tyler Durden, who else?
What is your greatest regret?
Not moving my blog from Blogger to Medium sooner.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Those 7 months of unemployment after daring to quit engineering, so the lowest depth of misery must lie somewhere between helplessness, self-pity and victimhood.
How would you like to die?
After watching India lift the FIFA World Cup.
What is your motto?
Life is unfair because we are.