There is a poignant scene in the classic film La Notte (1961) where it becomes clear that the male protagonist is seeking something new, something fresh, but will probably not value it once he acquires it. He is egoistic as well as narcissitic, and doesn’t appear to be sure about his place in the world. And to the scriptwriter’s credit, he finds an able match. Only that she knows better than to chase shadows of a relationship. The ensuing exchange between these two characters—an intellectual version of Tom and Jerry’s romp inside the house—takes us through the night (the very title of the movie) towards a morning where he comes face-to-face, once again, with his futility. Those final moments are like little embers of truth that fly into air but refuse to burn out. Classy, silly and then classy some more.
Thanks to the Shetty trinity of Rakshit, Rishab and Raj, bits and bytes of Mangalore get prominently featured in Kannada films nowadays. A more recent example is Kantara (2022) where the storyline is steeped in the spirits Mangaloreans have held close to their hearts for centuries. What was once barely spoken about, let alone celebrated on the big screen, finally cherishes the big screen. What a spectacle. And for people like me, who are aware of the role these religious entities play in our respective villages, it’s a double bonanza. One doesn’t even have to be a so-called believer to know that those dancing spirit performancers are no ordinary figures. For ages, they have been the conduit between gods and villagers, bridging the gap between nature and man, the known and the unknown. They touch your hand and tell you that you lost your father in the Bhadrapada season 69 years ago. Supernatural. Paranormal. Whatever it is, it’s quite an experience. After all, who doesn’t want to have a townhall with gods?
A recent study found that being sarcastic is a sign of a healthy brain. So, if you are or know somebody who is always sarcastic, here’s something for certain: mental health rocks. Apparently, when you are being sarcastic, your mind is being multi-aware of the various possibilities. For instance, me asking somebody short “have you lost height?” means that I am being spatially conclusive. In other words, sarcasm isn’t for everyone. My dad is definitely one of its greatest exponents though.
Me: “Why are you wearing sunglasses inside the house?”
He: “There is too much sunlight in this house.”
For the record, he lives in an apartment which has no direct access to sunlight and is covered by other buildings on all sides.
During childhood, it’s common to pitch one fave superhero against another, one wild animal against another, and so on. Batman vs Superman. Tiger vs Lion. Shark vs Whale. Since I grew up in a neighbourhood where all the kids were WWF fans, we used to pitch Yokozuna versus Hitman, Undertaker versus Repo-man, British Bulldog versus Shawn Michael, etc. We got our kicks out of betting on something without any ground data. Back then, in our households, we heard stuff like Shiva is the most powerful god, Krishna is the most influential, Rama is the most righteous, Hanuman was the most physical. Yet, it never occurred to any of us to pitch one god against another. Never crossed our mind. It’s only recently while reading through Hindu mythology that I learned that almost all such characters were super-accomplished warriors. Be it Arjuna or Rama or Hanuman. Interestingly, Arjuna and Rama are classified under Atimaharathis, meaning they were capable of fighting 8,640,000 warriors simultaneously. Relatively, Hanuman is placed higher under Mahamaharathis, meaning he was capable of fighting 207,360,000 warriors simultaneously. Which, on paper, means that he was much more powerful than Rama. But it didn’t matter to him because he worshipped the divinity in Rama, and we all know that love is the most powerful unit of all.
Last week, I was watching a short documentary on Marco Polo’s visit to Kublai Khan, and it rankles my swollen brain that people in the past could get from one place to another without getting lost. In his entire travel, he didn’t seem to have taken a wrong turn anywhere. Without any technology, no GPS, thank you. He went from one continent to another just like that. Yes, he faced climatic issues and came across bad-tempered people but still made to China like nobody’s business. The more I read about these historic travelers from various countries, the more I become convinced that most of us are only going to be tourists, at most, in our lives. Becoming a traveler takes something extra.
Those who teach you the finest memorable lessons often do so quietly. Plants, for instance. I’ve grown up with plants around me. They have always been there and I have always been the designated waterer. They pretend to be still but move a lot, they act like they don’t care but bloom at the most unexpected instances, and they can make you sad by checking out on you. Happens a lot. One day, they’d appear happy and hale and the next morning, they are dead and gone. You’d wonder what did you do wrong, but that’s how it is with plants. They are the masters of their destinies. You are just somebody who provides them care. That said, every once in a while, they would just come back to life. This can happen only when you don’t give up on them. Keep watering a bit and stay hopeful. You never know.
I was bitten by a stray dog two months ago and it marked (no pun intended) my first such incident. After taking five rabies shots, I can tell you that I am feeling like a superhuman or something. Why? Because for the next three years, any dog can bite me. Like an internal armour. I can pet more street dogs now, with absolutely no fear whatsoever. OK, it doesn’t work like that, but still.
Is it fair to suggest that men are more prone to cheating than women? At the drop of the hat, yes. Social conditioning goes a long way in designing how men interact—not just treat—with women and vice versa. In most cultures, men are allowed, if not encouraged, the runway to have multiple sex partners, whereas the same freedom is limited on the other side. Yes, there have been exceptions in the past where powerful women took on multiple lovers, but they are, at best, exceptions. It’s 2022 already and the stories of infidelity narrow out towards men more than women. This doesn’t mean that women won’t cheat under suitable circumstances. The only difference being, there is often a masculine pride in getting away with it whereas there is a feminine shame in going ahead with it.
If I were to write a play about a couple who are unstable but would like to believe that they are doing just fine, I’d write a scene where the man is about to leave the house after dinner.
She: “Where are you going?”
He: “I won’t belong.”
Here, he meant to say “I won’t be long” but in his hurriedness, by mistake, he ended up saying something much more assuring to her.
As you grow older, it becomes clearer to you that you deserved more. Could be anything from happiness to money to prosperity to orgasms to credit card points. In fact, time passes us by with the sole purpose of letting us know that we were scammed. There was always so much more in store for us; we simply didn’t bother to lift the shutter. And before we could acknowledge the sunset, here we are, getting grey and lousy, reminiscing too much and accomplishing too little. We ought to get up and go for the morning walk, if not run. We need to get our existence in order but we are relegating our priorities to tomorrow, the much fabled day that never shows up on time. When we can’t fill our lives with what we want and need, we are bound to end up feeling hollow. Sorry.
I’ve never been lonelier in my entire life. Will be completing two years in Mangalore this month and I can’t think of any phase where I didn’t have a social life. Always a select group of few people but at least those few were always enough. But the past two years have been like an extended season of social distancing for me. I haven’t managed to make genuine friends in this city. At my age, it’s difficult perhaps. Even those I made an acquaintance with don’t even reside in this city anymore; their base happens to be Mumbai and they are irregular visitors. On the brighter side, I’ve understood that we must cherish the friends we once had, because they might not be physically close to you but they meant a lot to you once upon a time.
By some estimates, Hindi film industry is going through its worst period since the 1980s. In case you were born after 2000 and are wondering what happened in the ‘80s, well, those were the times when quality as well as money both started dwindling from the industry, leading to the rise of parallel cinema and coy funding by the perfumed underworld. By some accounts, Bollywood became a front for moneylaundering back then. Anyway, coming back to the present, the recent big-starrer flops should serve as a wake-up call to the filmmakers. If anything, they can take a leaf out of south cinema and see what’s working for them. The audience doesn’t remain the same; people evolve and grow constantly. Maybe the trick is to keep up with them.
As your moustache changes its shade and your eyebags gather some real estate, you are finally comfortable with what you want to do with your life. It’s not always about security. Yes, money is essential for a respectable, non-dependent survival but it can be (re)calibrated. You can reign in your spending habits and invest your time and resources on things that make you feel better. One of the biggest problems with an idea of joy is it leaves you wanting for more. Sunday is ending and Monday is arriving. Melancholy redux. Friday is here, weekend fest. And the cycle continues. When we accept the bare truth that this is our only chance at being true to ourselves, we might be better prepared to accept the loss of youth. There is no shame in being wrong earlier.
There was always so much more in store for us; we simply didn’t bother to lift the shutter❤.
Age and friendship is an interesting take. Need for deeper connection just takes over. It's ironic that most people crave for solid friendships more and more with time and at the same time find it harder to forge new ones. Beautiful post tho.