Lovely learnings from the pandemic
They say love binds us all. Which might be true for most cases but overall, hypocrisy binds us. We are hypocritical creatures and our hypocrisy pushes us into a lot of troubles and saves us from a lot of pits too. When two people are hypocritical about the same thing, they are bound to team up. Two idiots conveniently looking at something and ignoring something else with ease. That’s how circles are formed in our society. You can find this pattern everywhere from football club groups to different schools of thoughts in economics to religious orders to fan base of redditors. When it comes to this particular trait, to each their own. Fortunately, there is enough space on this planet for everyone’s hypocrisy. Bring it on.
It’s 2021 and our species hasn’t advanced enough to talk about masculine obsession with penile size. Yes, there are few exceptions from the mainstream, with the likes of Ricky Gervais regularly making fun of his tiny member and the late Sean Lock referring to bodily correction in his standups. Apart from them, there is hardly a squeak: movies don’t mention much and neither do the songs. On the contrary, hip-hop music makes it worse for the average/below average fellow folks like me. All the male privilege in the world can’t possibly correct such a mental block. Nope. By design, men are insecure and nothing highlights this shortcoming (no pun intended) than our fear about getting unlucky with nature. Because you can change your habits and character one day but you are stuck with the same girth and length for the rest of your sorry life. There is no going back. The tragedy here is that most men don’t wish for a long penis. They just want a longer penis. Whatever we have (x), we want more (x+y). Thus proving that, as a gender, we don’t know what we want. And the poetic justice being, we won’t get what we want either.
If you are having a bad day or a bad week or a bad month, just remember one thing: it’s a sham. Whatever it is that you are crestfallen about, it’s not going to stick strongly enough. Nothing does. Good or bad or worse. You try and try and fail and try and fail again so that one day, you can succeed. That’s the nicest thing about time. So, the trick is in attempting again and again without feeling bad for yourself. That’s all there is. Despite such wonderful reckoning, you might feel like everything is going to blow away and your roof is going to crumble down, but then, none of that happens either. God never shows up in the court. Time is the greatest judge of all. Booyah!
Thanks to the pandemic, children lost a major chunk of their childhood and adults finally realized the importance of socializing. Even the introverts started feeling the heat of their lonely walls. It’s almost two years and it’s worth suggesting that we might have become better, if not softer, people. The power of a hug can’t be underestimated anymore. Similarly, the sweet curls of a kiss can’t be taken for granted. And let’s not get into the dynamics of intimacy. This pandemic taught us that whenever somebody touches your body, it’s always for the first time. For both of you.
Feeling demotivated? Nice to meet you. After a good run of some months, I haven’t performed any exertive physical activity in about three months now. Being overconfident doesn’t get you anywhere, does it? I thought I could get back my rhythm anytime I liked. Felt so about November 1st and that passed by. Felt the same about December 1st. Big mistake. Well, what have we got here? Another chance to course-correct and get ourselves back into the routine of dedicating an hour at least to myself and perspiration. That’s the only way out of this slumber. Otherwise, 2022 might arrive knocking harder (and heavier) than it has to.
A couple of years ago, a senior colleague chided me for my boy-ish attitude towards life. I didn’t take offence—you should only take offence when your close ones are being nasty—because he had a major grand slam point. The world beckons men, not boys: those who get things done and have their skin in the show; not the ones who stay behind and refuse to take initiatives to test themselves out. You grow in the role assigned to you by putting in a concentrated effort. For example, if you are not going to learn MS Excel, or how to drive a car, or wrap your head around stock market tricks, and so on and so forth, you shall remain where you are. And that spot might be carefree but it won’t be able to hide your carelessness. One has to keep growing by learning new stuff wherever we are.
There are very few things I genuinely love. Old t-shirts are one of them. The progression of a t-shirt to a pocha takes a painfully long(er) time under my supervision. I still wear t-shirts from my mid-day days. More than a decade in service. My family members don’t approve—obviously. They think it reeks of cheapness whereas I am into it thanks to the undeniable softness an old cotton t-shirt provides. It’s like a second skin. Granted it looks out of place because appearance plays a part in workplace decorum. Anyway, even my colleagues have pertinently pointed it out to me as well, including my former editor. In fact, during my zomato days, I used to wear old faded t-shirts to office and a sweet colleague once asked with an unmistakable smile, "Yeh naya rang kaunsa hai?"
Apart from being a solid movie star, Keanu Reeves is also celebrated on social media for his approachable nature. They say he doesn’t age (which is false) and attribute his temperament to his Buddhist beliefs (which is true). There is nothing you can find on the internet that can put him to shame. This fellow is loved for real. The reason you are reading about him on this blog here today is he recently gave an interview to a magazine and it showed a side of him that is admirable as well as worth emulating. Apparently, Carrie-Anne Moss, his co-star from Matrix series, asked him to share a list of must-watch movies for her daughter. And he shared a list with the first movie being The Neon Demon (2016) at the top. You know that makes this interesting? He stars in that movie. Sounds like immodesty, right? At first glance, yes. But when you really think about it, it’s a testament to the fact that he believes in his work. If he doesn’t feel he is doing a good job, what’s the point of his filmography? Why is he even an actor, one of the most expressive professions out there? If anything, him mentioning his movie hints us to take pride in what we do, because if we don’t learn to, others won’t either.
In the fifth season of The Office (US version), there is an episode where Pam and Daryl get to know that they are both Presbyterians. So, what do they do? They give each other a smiling high-five. That’s it. No big god talk. Religion is such a private affair—which is what it ideally should be—in their setting that they have spent years working in the same building not getting to know each other’s religious beliefs. Sounds like a perfect antidote to the ongoing onslaught of religious masturbation. Besides, a true practitioner of a religion is too busy working on themselves to conclude how others can improve themselves.
The world looks at us exactly how we project ourselves. There are some written and unwritten rules and people go by it. 300 years ago, you used horses to move around. If you stood in the traffic with a horse today, you would be targeted for animal abuse by the same lot who are polluting the environment with their car fumes. The point being, we are stuck in a mirror: how it seems is not always how it is. If you are in love with a baby-faced person, it doesn’t make you a pedophile. Optics. So, for what it’s worth, you can try your best and then take some rest as a spectator. Don’t push your luck to be seen in a certain manner. You are just another human being, despite your grand success and shallow failures. Don’t expect a standing ovation from Stephen Hawking. Thank you for attending my sed talk.
In case you have too much love to give but nobody to give it to, try transferring them to animals and birds. However, if you are keen on fellow humans, then the best way to go about it is you take a break after a heartache, recalibrate your learnings, improve your eyesight and do things a bit differently perhaps. Of course, these insights apply differently for heterosexual women and men. A heartbreak makes a woman stronger and seldom makes her give up on love. When a man’s heart breaks, he becomes his worst enemy by turning stupider. And then, one day, he realizes that the only woman he genuinely loved was his mother.