Sasta tikau advice
People, especially youngsters, often reach out to me for counsel. For reasons unknown to me, they find me approachable. Which might explain why most of them don’t even bother to introduce themselves or explain the context: they just shoot me messages. And if you know (anything about) me, it’s my absolute approachable nature. Just kidding. Of course, I am talking about the online world. Offline, I prefer to stick to few. Smile back, yes. Long winding conversations about nothing in particular, no.
Besides, when you are typing instead of talking to strangers, you can be as removed from responsibility as humanly possible. Over the years, I’ve advised engineering students to not dropout and graduate somehow, which sounded hypocritical because I once dropped out without a second thought. Similarly, I’ve told a lot of people to prioritize their peace of mind over their professional goals although that’s not an art form I’ve mastered. If somebody is going through a bad (phase of) relationship, I ask them to either work on it or move the fuck on.
Oh, I’ve even opined recklessly every now and then: I’ve concluded, on more than one occasion—after knowing the abusive nature of the said marriage—divorce is the only way ahead as nothing triumphs self-respect. Turns out I have a lot of respect for others’ self-respect even if mine is lagging in most aspects.
What can be mended should be mended.
What can’t be mended should be ended.
Overall, I’ve been consistent with my counsel. I’d easily rate myself 6/10 on bad days and 7/10 on good days. I don’t think I ever shared my solicited thoughts in bad faith. If somebody reached out to me via social media or this blog, I made sure that I try (my best) to help. Whether they follow it or not was never my concern. There is only so much you can do in the online space. Trust is everything.
What I find funny is how people assume that just because somebody writes something that they can relate to, that person might hold the key to unlock all their doubts. This unparalleled power of words and connectivity continue to awe me. Perhaps it’s one of the few magical bits left about the internet.
Anyway, here’s something I recently wrote to a young promising man, who finds himself in a professional crossroad.
I'll be turning 38 next week. If there is one thing I've learned for sure, it's this: if you are going to be stupid and repeat the same mistakes, then you are going to waste a lot of time.
At the end of the equation, only one thing matters: time. And what we do with it. Everything else is petty distraction.
We are young someday and then suddenly, we are not young anymore. That is a trick life pulls on everyone. So, the best bet you can take is on yourself and keep trying and improving, and winning big and small. It's not about others anyway. What others are doing or achieving — that's totally irrelevant. You are the protagonist of your life. Not Steve Jobs and ilk.
So, if you are ever on the precipice of a decision: always choose something that will make it worth your time. Good or bad, the most important thing is to have fun at what (we aim to) spend our time on.
If you are good at something, get happy at it. Greatness will follow.
Thanks for attending my sed talk.
As you can clearly note above, I am quite sincere in my responses. The shared advice may not help but at least, the message is clear. What more can you ask for in an era where ChatGPT knows more than any library in the world?