Time doesn’t fly during self-quarantine.
Before the prime minister declared a 21-day lockdown, I was already under voluntary isolation. Which is basically a painful process of creating a zoo for yourself. You are scared and you are tired. A fatal combination under any circumstance. If you thought you were an introvert, I am pretty sure you are having second thoughts now. Nobody wants to be confined to one place — particularly inside a dingy apartment — for days on end. It tires you out both mentally as well as physically. Mentally because you realize how slow time functions when there aren’t enough distractions around; an office has all the perfect settings for getting through the day. Physically because there isn’t enough room for you to roam around and your sedentary lifestyle drags through a misplaced demotion.
Fortunately, I’ve recorded my experiences so far.
DAY 1
This is a nice change. Can’t complain. Let’s see how productive I can be today. Already saving on time and fuel and unnecessary water cooler interactions. Just need to focus and strike off things from my to-do list. Wait, which bird is that? Summer is indeed here.
DAY 2
Must workout today and set right the order of things going forward. Can’t let laziness seep in. Can’t loosen the grip now. No, not happening. My ankle hurts though. That motorcycle-related injury hasn’t healed fully. Anyway, time to wash my hands for the 174th time today. Called my parents urging them not to believe anything on WhatsApp.
DAY 3
Started the day by going to terrace and ended it by looking up at the dark sky. The world is suffering together so you aren’t alone in this. It’s called pandemic and not Faridabad Ka Zukaam for a reason. Stock markets are down. Oil prices are up. Economy has taken a beating. But then, a boxer’s face is not a suitable criteria for prosecution. In my capacity, I want to be a channel of optimism and goodwill as risible as it may sound. And the only way I can do that is maintain social distance and break the chain and flatten the curve: phrases that I use a lot nowadays although I had no idea what they meant two weeks ago.
DAY 4
Oh, I miss my friends from our office. Doesn’t matter that it’s a Friday. I miss them. Not sure whether they miss my pedagogic wisecracks and impatient mannerism though. My best guess is that they don’t. And I don’t blame them. Speaking of friendship, what happened to those Pakistani students stuck in Wuhan?
DAY 5
Isn’t my wife a blessing? Home-cooked food never tasted more homely! We have given up on non-vegetarian food except eggs and are subsisting on basic rice, lentils, potatoes and some vegetables. Hoarding is for panicky idiots who think they will die of starvation. Don’t they know that there is a greater chance of them getting hit by an asteroid than dying of hunger? However, we are avoiding sweets and anything excessive. Do you hear that? That’s my abs developing on their own.
DAY 6
Work never ends in a startup atmosphere. It’s always there waiting for you. So, perhaps, it’s time to build a new skill set. How about learning ukulele more seriously than before? Time to eloquent the chords and frets and whatnot. Let’s annoy the fuck out of everyone I like (those inside our apartment) as well as everyone I dislike (those outside our apartment) at the same time.
DAY 7
Ranga is fed up with my face. He didn’t sign up for this. His grumbling voice, with a heavy dose of a sigh, tells me so. Also, he keeps staring at me for no reason. Maybe he misses his old routine of greeting me like a lost soul as soon as I entered home in the evening. He’d be worried if I told him that there are rumours of dogs contracting COVID19 in Hong Kong.
DAY 8
This morning, a peacock was sitting on the ledge of our balcony. It was gorgeous; so beautiful that I didn’t bother to click a picture. Some moments are best left to selfishness. Obviously not as selfish as the entitled cretins from upper class who assume the rules don’t apply to them.
DAY 9
Nice to go back to being independent and not depending on our domestic help for anything. Also a grim reminder of how heavily dependent we were in the first place. For what it’s worth, she is getting paid leave until next month so it’s alright. I hope the lower strata of the society are taken care of by all possible agencies. Why? Well, as always, the poor pays the biggest price for a reason.
Day 10
Just realized that my bamboo plant at our workplace must be dead by now. Totally forgot about it. Had no idea that that day was going to be my last day in office for the time being. Poor thing must have thought — “I didn’t do anything to deserve this,” before adding, “All humans are cancer. They will betray you sooner than later.”
DAY 11
The so-called developed countries are showing the rest of the world that they aren’t any different. Idiots are everywhere and our safety lies in our hands. So I am washing my hands at least 321 times a day now.
DAY 12
Tired of being the Robinhood version of online chess wherein I defeat higher ranked players only to squander away points by losing miserably to lower ranked ones. Need to curtail this unwarranted charity.