Tiny pieces of you and me
Before I forget why we are reading this blogpost here today, let me tell you that I take comfort in the established truth that we live in a world where my friend Aditya—a Marwari who grew up in a Marathi-speaking neighbourhood in Bombay—can read Kannada script whereas I—a Tuluva who grew up in a Tamil-speaking neighbourhood in Bombay—simply can't. And if that wasn’t ironic but impressive enough, he went on to learn the German language. The inside joke is that he’d prefer to read Mein Kampf in its original, without losing essence. Whatever that means.
It’s important to set goals and work towards them. Each goal matters. Big or small. When you set personal targets, be it professional or personal or otherwise, you are reminding yourself that you are a continuous project. You are not a swamp yet. There are more than enough opportunities to prove to yourself that you can turn things around. Isn’t that a wonderful place to be? Mentally, at least. That said, sometimes, our goals hold us back too. They overwhelm us and stop us from stepping out of our stuck zone. It’s like all those kites from my childhood: they never flew.
During my journalism days, I interviewed a seasoned makeup artist whose full name—let’s call her Dolly—betrays my memory. I visited her plush apartment in Versova, spoke to her for two hours straight. From that conversation, one powerful statement stood out. She told me that she has been doing makeup for the biggest names in Bollywood, from Madhubala to Deepika, and only one thing remains constant in front of the mirror. She. The actresses come and go.
Some of us carry a certain amount of energy wherever we go. Maybe that’s how the stars are aligned. Some people will revisit Bangalore and will always face a series of bad experiences. Some people will revisit Mumbai and face no issue whatsoever. Vice versa happens, too. People. Weather. Logistics. Excuses. Whatever. This is my theory on the subject of such uniquely consistent good/bad experiences: your energy is to be credited or blamed. Sorry.
Speaking of Bangalore, it’s a pity that bad behaviour by some cretins is being represented as the ultimate take on social media. Most Bangalorevasis certainly don’t care if people who move to their city for job reasons pick up Kannada or not. That said, it’d be nice to make a tiny attempt. After all, that’s all it takes to endear yourself to the populace. Low-hanging fruit already. Nobody is expecting you to deliver a speech in sahitya Kannada anyway. 15 local phrases maybe? 10 perhaps? OK, how about 5?
Last month, I visited some Ganapati pandals in Mangalore and some of the statues were spectacular. There is something wordlessly wholesome about lord Ganesha. Kind eyes. Prayerful ears. Big belly. Very reassuring vibe. Despite not being being fond of crowd, no complaints at my end. Yet, none of these beautiful statues could match the aura of a much smaller Ganesha statue I once spotted in Thailand over a decade ago. What made it awesome? Well, a bottle of cold drink with a straw was placed in front of it. Coolness max.
How can we go without mentioning my dad and his shenanigans. Turns out he keeps the light on in his room while watching YouTube videos on his phone. Why so? Because, apparently, his phone brightness goes low on its own. I don’t even…
̌I’ve mentioned this here many times in the past, in different words, of course: you don’t learn something new unless it’s time to learn something. Your well-wishers can keep sharing motivational IG reels and podcast clips from YouTube, hoping they move your needle in the right direction. We’ve all been there. Yes, even those who are walking breaths of perfection on earth. Each one of us hope to improve and then keep improving. However, the available support system can only try so much. When the sun sets, you’ve got to make up your mind to turn a new leaf, imbibe stronger values, shed your old skin, relearn better tricks and affect positivity. Expecting an external force to do all the hard work for you is stupidity. Nobody went to learn swimming after watching Titanic.
Roger Federer is undoubtedly the greatest tennis player on grass and he dominated Wimbledon like nobody else. However, in his last ever Wimbledon match in 2021, he lost 0-6 in the last set to a little known player. This was the ONLY time in his rather long career that he got bageled—bagel is when a player fails to register a single game in a set—at his favourite surface. I like to think of this instance as a glaring example of human flaws. Ruthlessly poetic that even greatness must go through angst. Even if you are the finest exponent and even if you are the humblest exponent, humility shall be served. Regardless.
Over the last couple of months, I’ve visited my parents in Navi Mumbai and a common mode of transport there is either the local train or the modest autorickshaw. Having lived in other parts of the country, I can assure you that these two vehicles are modern miracles. Trains for their impeccable reliability and autos for running on meters (no haggling, please). Of late, I’ve noticed grafitis at railway stations, thanks to Gen Z. Wasn’t visible 10-13 years ago. The autos have remained the same though. You will spot an autowallah honking his heart out only to have SHAANT RAHA (‘stay quiet’ in Marathi) printed on the back of his vehicle.
During my journalism days (my favourite ensemble of four words), I once asked Irrfan Khan what was his biggest fear as an actor. He said something to the line of – “I just want to stay impactful. Whenever people see me on the screen, they must feel that I am them.” One of the best answers ever.
If you are in the field of entertainment/engagement and wish to emulate anyone in the world for success—at an individual scale, with respect to time and effort put in—Jerry Seinfeld is your guy. Before doing standup comedy and the shebang, this hard-nosed fellow worked on a TV show for nine seasons and became the wealthiest entertainer of all time. In 2004, the syndication of his show garnered more moolah than the amount spent in the US presidential election. One can only wonder what that figure must be in today’s age of mindless streaming. Anyway, it isn’t only about money. It’s about the creative freedom one achieves by letting their past success do their negotiations for them. Just check out his work post-Seinfeld and you’ll realize that he hasn’t been working, really. He has fun with his friends and gets paid heavily for the same. Mad rizz, Gen Zers.
Denial is the first defence. Exhibit A:
“You are lonely.”
“I am not lonely.”
“That’s what all lonely people say.”
Acceptance is the last offence. Exhibit Z:
“I’ve been in Gurgaon for 6 months now and I hate it.”
“I can relate. I am 9 and I’ve been for 9 years now.”
For some messed up reasons, I still remember my earliest days in Bombay chawl—slum sounds fucking cheap and sullen—when amma taught me how to brush. I can go back to that uneasy feeling in my mouth when toothbrush and Colgate powder mixed, leaving a strange, heavy, abrasive touch on my palate. Even after rinsing thoroughly, that feeling remained for a long while. Toothpaste happened much later in our tiny tin house and I continued to look at that white powder with resentment. Yet, for years, the whole family brushed their teeth with it. The truth is, the more you do something uncomfortable, the more you become used to it, and before you know it, it turns into your everyday event. Several years down the memory lane, you look back and smile at your poor self.
One of my biggest pet peeves with the so-called middle class in India is they assume that they are poor. No matter which strata of middle class (upper, middle, lower) they belong to, they are not poor by any textbook definition. It’s a mindset, that’s all. In fact, in a vast country like ours where inequality is rife, they are the ones most likely to create wealth for themselves. Their idea of comfort will be unmatched by more than 90% of the rest of the citizens. Despite all these inevitabilities, you’d hear this section of our society crib the most. God forbid you call them wealthy. They would flip and start listing out reasons on how they contribute so much and get so little in return. And when they do this, call them wealthy again. Damn amusing. Them denying they are not wealthy is like fish saying it hasn't rained in a while.
I am low-key happy that you made this far. True to the nature of my content, this blogpost was written randomly although the pointers were compiled over the last few months. I had no intention of penning them down because once you post, you are supposed to post again and again and again. It’s an endless parade. And I am genuinely tired. But it’s fun, too. I appreciate the fact that you are spending your not-so-precious time with my thoughts. I hope good things happen to you. No, wait. I hope great things happen to you. I also hope that when good or great things stop happening to you, you don’t feel ridiculously bad either. I pray you learn to enjoy the cycles. Because that’s just how you are supposed to deal with the ebbs and flows. If good things are happening to you, does that make you a good person? If bad things are happening to you, does that make you a bad person? If nothing is happening to you, does that make you a person?
Heartwarming <3